Life begins at RETIREMENT

Those who love deeply never grow old; they may die of old age, but
they die young.

-- A.W. Pinero


Family members - spouse, children, and even your parent, siblings are important part of your life during retirement. They provide the fundamental family support during this golden phase. However, you need to understand that your retirement will bring in different experiences now...

For example, you will be staying at home more. You will travel less. You will now participate in more decision making and be available to attend functions of your family members. Of course, you will also want more say on expenses and expense control. Afterall, you have no or limited income.

While your presence at home may be appreciated at times, it can cause friction between you and your family members. So, the key is to ease the situation...give each other space. Afterall, they have survived for so long without your nagging. Why should you, now retired, suddenly 'interfere' with everything around the house?

Here's what I did...

1. Set some groundrules...especially as it relates to expense and expense control. Also, tell them that you will be around the house more often and that they can expect to see you around their important occasion or events.

2. Set some time away from home for yourself....give everyone rooms. Get out of their way. Don't change to a parasite clinging to your family all day long. Go take a walk, gym, meet friends, library. Give the spouse and children time to be on their own. They would respect that a lot.

3. Listen and support more....listening is the most difficult thing to do. You are probably so used to coaching, solving problems that you will want to do the same for your spouse and children. Don't. Don't do that. All they want is for someone to listen. How do listen? Here's a guide: Listen for facts and feelings. Then, play back via antipathy. Your family members know how to solve the problems but needs you to listen. So, just listen.

4. Accept that sometimes, no one wants you. This is good...your children are grown up. Also, this allows you independence and freedom to do whatever you want to do.

Try it.